A few years and a few months ago, I was just as excited as the next person to get to university. September approached and day by day, the prospect of starting the most anticipated period of my life bloomed before me.
I had always been a bit of a nerd. It quietened down during secondary school, where it wasn't cool to be clever and to be seen striving for the best of the best was the surest path to self-alienation around, but the nerdiness remained. I longed to be in a new place, standing on that proverbial blank page, with other people just like me all around. Those who would understand my need to drive myself into the ground to achieve my potential but who would also want to hit the pub and fill it with our laughter and wit. We would support each other through the deadlines before grabbing each other by the hand and running out into the world to shake our hair loose and enjoy the best time of our lives.
Life doesn't always go to plan.
One minute you're planning your future, the next you're eating Ben & Jerry's from the tub. Two tubs. (Yes I know there are bowls but look how sparkling clean they are and look at the ice cream level in that tub. I am the new Sherlock.)
Joking aside, not getting into uni sucked. Suddenly there was a year stretching ahead of me and I had absolutely nothing to do except work in a clothes shop where the customers insulted me for being a sales girl (really). The first few months were seriously depressing but after a bit, I began to perk up.
Here's why and how you can too if you find yourself in a similar situation...
1) I had an image overhaul.
Why the hell not? I had nothing else to do. It didn't put my feelings of failure to rest but suddenly having flaming red hair got people talking about something other than accommodation, freshers fairs, societies etc.
2) I went exploring.
I didn't have the time or the funds for a traditional "gap yah" experience so I stayed at home, earning some money for the costly years ahead (not enough money as it turned out, oh second year you absolute beast).
With all of my friends gone away or otherwise occupied full-time, I had lots of time on my hands and there's only so much Gossip Girl you can watch in one go. I slung my trusty DSLR over my shoulder and went for long walks in the area, ambling down roads I had only ever driven down. It gave me a completely different perspective on the area and helped me see that life wasn't so bad after all.
(Disclaimer: the whole of Thanet is most certainly not as picturesque as the quaint country road above).
3) I reconnected with old friends.
Most of the people I had spent most of my free time with were suddenly off carrying on with their lives. Luckily for me, there were other people still stuck at home! (Although notably doing more productive things with their time such as studying for extra A levels and going to college and working full-time...)
Some of the people I spent time with on my gap year were people I hadn't seen properly for a few years and it was really great getting in touch with them again.
4) I let my hair down a little bit.
I had always been a bit of a nerd. It quietened down during secondary school, where it wasn't cool to be clever and to be seen striving for the best of the best was the surest path to self-alienation around, but the nerdiness remained. I longed to be in a new place, standing on that proverbial blank page, with other people just like me all around. Those who would understand my need to drive myself into the ground to achieve my potential but who would also want to hit the pub and fill it with our laughter and wit. We would support each other through the deadlines before grabbing each other by the hand and running out into the world to shake our hair loose and enjoy the best time of our lives.
Life doesn't always go to plan.
One minute you're planning your future, the next you're eating Ben & Jerry's from the tub. Two tubs. (Yes I know there are bowls but look how sparkling clean they are and look at the ice cream level in that tub. I am the new Sherlock.)
Joking aside, not getting into uni sucked. Suddenly there was a year stretching ahead of me and I had absolutely nothing to do except work in a clothes shop where the customers insulted me for being a sales girl (really). The first few months were seriously depressing but after a bit, I began to perk up.
Here's why and how you can too if you find yourself in a similar situation...
1) I had an image overhaul.
Why the hell not? I had nothing else to do. It didn't put my feelings of failure to rest but suddenly having flaming red hair got people talking about something other than accommodation, freshers fairs, societies etc.
2) I went exploring.
I didn't have the time or the funds for a traditional "gap yah" experience so I stayed at home, earning some money for the costly years ahead (not enough money as it turned out, oh second year you absolute beast).
With all of my friends gone away or otherwise occupied full-time, I had lots of time on my hands and there's only so much Gossip Girl you can watch in one go. I slung my trusty DSLR over my shoulder and went for long walks in the area, ambling down roads I had only ever driven down. It gave me a completely different perspective on the area and helped me see that life wasn't so bad after all.
(Disclaimer: the whole of Thanet is most certainly not as picturesque as the quaint country road above).
3) I reconnected with old friends.
Most of the people I had spent most of my free time with were suddenly off carrying on with their lives. Luckily for me, there were other people still stuck at home! (Although notably doing more productive things with their time such as studying for extra A levels and going to college and working full-time...)
Some of the people I spent time with on my gap year were people I hadn't seen properly for a few years and it was really great getting in touch with them again.
4) I let my hair down a little bit.
I'm not sure that Magro knows this but this guy was actually the first Italian who kissed me (on the cheek). My friend Tam and I went to Brussels for a long weekend to see the Christmas markets. It was absolutely freezing so the only option was to drown the frostbite in mulled wine and mulled mojitos (yes really!) We managed to get mildly assaulted by these two Italian guys trying to lure tourists into their restaurant but we were too drunk to care.
5) I went on holiday!
Saving up for uni didn't go 100% to plan... my trusty travel buddy and I booked up a trip to the USA for two weeks. I was never going to be able to do the six-month-travels-in-Asia package but it seemed right to treat myself to a proper holiday after months of sorting coat-hangers.
It's funny because at the beginning, my gap year was one of the worst periods of my life. I felt like a failure and was overcome by loneliness and jealousy as my social media feeds filled with excited updates of freshers week and new friends.
But as time went by, I began to appreciate the time out. I could read whatever I wanted, go wherever I wanted and do whatever I wanted. I loved having flexible shift work as it meant I could fit my working life around the things I wanted to rather than it being exclusively the other way round. Friends would come and go as they visited home for weekends and at holidays and I began to form a different kind of social life.
By the end of the year, I was confident that it had been one of the best years yet.
Just before I went on to uni at the end of the year, one girl at work insisted that uni would change me.
"It's just the best experience ever." She said in a matter-of-fact tone. "It changes you. It just... changes you."
"I'm pretty sure that this year has changed me too though." I said.
"No, trust me." She replied. "There's nothing quite like uni."
And whilst I can't dispute what she said, I have to tell you now that I was right. My gap year changed me - for the better - like no year at uni ever would have been able to.
It's easy to feel negative if your life doesn't go to plan. But just remember that there are still opportunities out there for you to grab and that by the end of it you will have learnt the greatest lesson;
It's really not the end of the world.
What a wonderful post and thank you for sharing your experience! As someone who is now living a life that is a bit foreign to me (city mouse living in the country), I really appreciate the advice on seeking out one's own bliss and path but also knowing when to go with the flow. Thx!
ReplyDeleteMeghan xo
www.fancypantsandsugarshacks.com
Thanks a lot Meghan, it means a lot to me that you've taken something from this! It's always weird changing up environment like that but I hope you come to love the countryside in its own way. It really is important seeking out the things that make you happy and it might be harder to keep busy in the midst of fields and rolling hills but you'll get there :) xxx
DeleteIt's so lovely and helpful to see you turned something you didn't want into something positive. I remember a while ago you said someone criticised you for 'showing off' or something, but this just shows you are able to see things through a positive light and it comes off well for you.
ReplyDeleteI too had to take some time off from education, due to illness. The first year I didn't take it well, and spent the whole year crying in bed- it was the most horrible time in my life. The second year I managed to make it more positive, and used my free time and flexibility to do what I wanted. I couldn't manage the long walks or the travelling, but having time to read, relax and study was such a luxury and I'm grateful for that time now.
This is such a nice post, it's easy for people like us to feel isolated and this was really lovely to read. xx
Thank you for such a lovely comment Anon, I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. One of my friends is currently having to take time off from her plans due to health so I can certainly empathise with what you've been through. It's easy to become overly focused on the things we are told matter and overlook the things that are genuinely good for us and our wellbeing. Hope you're able to achieve your goals, whatever they may be! xxx
DeleteI very much needed this. My life has not been going to plan at all lately. While I'm past entering university and will be graduating from graduate school this December, I needed a reminder that everything will sort itself out, and one day it will all seem part of the "plan."
ReplyDeleteI need to remind myself of this time in my life too sometimes. Even though I managed to get it all sorted out, I still have a tendency to freak out and push myself too hard. Sometimes it's a good idea to just remember that what we're stressing about right now probably won't matter at all in a year or two! xxx
DeleteLove this post! It's so awesome that you took something unexpected and made the most of it! Your attitude is the absolute best, and you have great advice. I'm glad you did this post now. I'm out of university, but am soon changing paths in what I will study in graduate school. I needed to hear that the "plan" not working out isn't necessarily a negative. We are young--far too young for a hitch in the "plan" to be the end of the world. You are so right!
ReplyDeleteBTW, I think being nerdy is cool :)
Sam
Exactly! It's not as if our lives are going to end as soon as our five-year-plan runs out, there are so many chances to change path in life so what's the point in worrying about this sheep track we're following now? And yes it is cool, incredibly cool. My course mates LOVED the fact I could spout names and dates at the drop of a hat (read - they hated me) :p xxx
DeleteWhat a lovely post, Lucy. X
ReplyDeleteThanks Rachel :) I was inspired by your post about years abroad! xxx
DeleteSuch a wonderful post Lucy. Sometimes life doesn't go as you would expect. It seems like the end of the world at the time, but I am a great believer that everything happens for a reason. To teach us something, sound like whilst you wouldn't have chosen a gap year it did you the world of good and had brilliant adventures Lucy x
ReplyDeleteThank you :) it's hard to see it at first but in retrospect, life teaches us lessons rather than just throwing us hardships all the time! xxx
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